This is a collection of quotes from Jared Mellinger’s book on Encouragement, one of our 7 Shaping Virtues.
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“Encouragement is not a matter of words only, but involves more fundamentally our perspective and our hearts. Encouragement is not a matter of personality or mere niceness. True encouragement is not flattery, because it is not exaggerated, dishonest, or spoken for personal gain.”
“Over time in relationships, affirmations tend to diminish and irritations tend to increase. Strengths are taken for granted, and weak points become the focal point of our relating to others. That is what we must resist, whether it is in the church, in our marriages, or in ministry. J. C. Ryle says, ‘There is no surer mark of backsliding and falling off in grace than an increased disposition to find fault, pick holes, and see weak points in others… Let us be more quick to see grace, and more slow to see imperfections!’ Yes, let us be more quick to see grace. Let us be more skilled at seeing the activity of God in other Christians and other churches.”
“God is not merely tolerating you, he is rejoicing over you. Yes, he is displeased when we pursue sin, but sin is not the dominant reality in the lives of God’s people. For the Christian, every day is filled with moments of divine pleasure from the God of encouragement: God is pleased when we hope in his steadfast love (Ps. 147:11), pleased with a faith that believes he exists and believes he rewards those who seek him (Heb. 11:6), pleased when we bear fruit and increase our knowledge of him (Col. 1:10). Every time we do good and share with others, such sacrifices are pleasing to God (Heb. 13:16). When the Christian resists being conformed to the world (Rom. 12:1-2), or prays for others and leads a peaceful and godly life (1 Tim. 2:2-3), or gives generously (Phil. 4:18), or cares for those in their home and supports family members (1 Tim. 5:4), Scripture explicitly says these things are pleasing in the sight of God.”
“The reality of human weakness and sin means that attempts to boost confidence and strength by reminders of our superior resources will ultimately fail. Our strength cannot rest on our abilities and skills, precisely because these are subject to change. The world and its message of self-help can only offer a pseudo-encouragement, because it always focuses on human ability. A biblical approach runs deeper, focusing on what God has done and will do in Christ.”
“Biblical discernment focuses more on truth than on error, more on grace than sin. The main way the gift of discernment ought to function in our lives is by equipping us to discern what is pleasing and excellent. We discern the healthy from the unhealthy for the purpose of rejoicing where God is at work and holding fast to what is good. The most discerning Christians ought to be the most encouraging ones.”
“In Sovereign Grace Churches, we have sought to create a culture of outdoing one another in showing honor. At times, people think publicly honoring others is just a Sovereign Grace thing. But the practice of commending others, not just privately but publicly, is biblically informed.”
“In order to be an encouragement to others, our own souls must first be encouraged in the gospel, strengthened by the grace that is in Christ Jesus. By looking to Jesus and considering him, we will not grow weary or fainthearted in the great Christian race (Heb. 12:1-3). Our sin tempts us to despair, our sorrows easily discourage us, but the cross speaks a better word. Christ has loved us and freed us from our sins by his blood (Rev. 1:5). ‘In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace” (Eph. 1:7). The cross fills our hearts with the courage that comes from being known and loved by God. A community of the cross will be a community of encouragement, because our life together is built upon the best news the world has ever known. In the gospel we not only see the heart of Christ for us, but his heart for all his people. Abiding in Christ fills us with his joy and inclines us to see his grace in others.”